Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
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Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
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I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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