Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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