Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
