shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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