so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
