Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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