Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
