Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
