What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
