Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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