sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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