she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
wow bdsm is so cute
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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