it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize