Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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