Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
