Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I can't turn off my feet"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize