party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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