I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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