i will never coherently bang her
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
