Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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