He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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