I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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