I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
