No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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