So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
