im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize