Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
