He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
