we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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