Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.