from now on my penis is your penis
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We have started to decorate penises.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.