if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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