i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Vodka?
Forever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize