Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
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Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
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I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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