when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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