his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
