I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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