you have to choose: penises or morals?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
