dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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