Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
