and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize