I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
