I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
