I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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