She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
