NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
