After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Success! We fucked roommates!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
