I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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