talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
