Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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