North Korea, Best Korea!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
