PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
