You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
