His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
