I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
