Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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