Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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