Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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