So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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