That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
