some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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