bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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