I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize