I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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