That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
