I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
