you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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