porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
