Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
