Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
