so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
