Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
