I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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