at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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