he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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